[Submission] The Patron Saint of Gloomy Graveyard Girls
Softness in a brutal world, swathed in sorrow [...]
“Hey! There’s more to me than just ‘gloomy graveyard girl’…”
A doll with doe eyes, long chocolate locks and eyelashes like ebony wings. Porcelain skin the perfect shade of olive. I find myself dressing like her subconsciously, favouring low-rise bootcut jeans with circular buttons detailing the rear-end, and begging my beloved eyebrow lady to thin my eyebrows out as much as she can.
Despite her alleged whiny persona, the infamous Elena Gilbert remains our it-girl vampire girlfriend 16 years on. Her portrayal by Nina Dobrev is best celebrated by fans throughout seasons 1-3, where her compassionate nature burns its brightest flame. She is reminiscent of vanilla and cinnamon, in all her gritty edge despite her girl-next-door exterior, riddled with grief yet always tackling it with grace. She hangs out in cemeteries, journals on a daily and unapologetically possesses a wardrobe that many will spend the rest of their teenage life replicating. There isn’t one V-neck shirt in my closet that hasn’t had lace sewn into the neckline, and she is wholeheartedly to blame.
So, what is it that calls teenage girls to Elena Gilbert? Is it the saccharine sweetness that makes her cold-hearted doppelgänger, Katherine Pierce, profusely gag? Is it the effortlessly cool exterior she breathes when she has people sacrificing their lives for her wellbeing left, right and centre? Or is it only based on aesthetics, TikTok edits and Pinterest moodboards? I would argue that above all– it is the mystique of the vampire girlfriend. Kickstarted by the popularity of Twilight in 2008, followed by The Vampire Diaries in 2009, the phenomenon continues to spread like wildfire. The mere fantasy of dreaming up your own vampire boyfriend, who will forever protect you and lust after your blood, is enough to drive a generation of teenage girls feral. With the release of Nosferatu in January 2025, a glimpse of this reaction was seen in the same generation that nurtured Twilight and The Vampire Diaries, where many women were thirsting over Bill Skarsgard’s Orlok. Naturally.
But the difference between our it-girl vampire girlfriends, Bella Swan and Elena Gilbert, is that Elena possesses a completely different stance on vampirism. From the very start of her exposure to the supernatural, she accepts Stefan Salvatore’s (Paul Wesley) affliction without ever expressing a desire to join him on the dark side. Our doe-eyed doll is innately human and is very much okay with it. Many fans believe that the minute Elena transitioned into a vampire, her entire character changed for the worse, and that’s where her hate-train takes off. This satisfaction with being ordinary, in a world full of vampires, werewolves, hybrids, – both vamp’ and wolf – symbolises Elena as the perfect role-model for teenage girls, expressing the acceptance of normalcy. This isn’t to say that Bella is a terrible role-model for wanting to be a vampire. What is important here is Elena’s commitment to wanting to feel every emotion throughout her humanity, despite being swarmed by grief and battling trauma. Elena is the candle that fights to stay lit even as the wind howls, yet Bella is the moth that dives into the flame – not to die, but to become one with it.
Despite the many hurdles thrown at Elena, she never hardens in her fight. She remains soft. Her empathy and hope are what drives her innate self. With teenage girls often criticised for being far too sensitive or whiny, witnessing Elena Gilbert only solidifies their belief in feeling – never shaming them.
Timeless and quietly elegant, Elena’s wardrobe consists of basic necessities with detailing to help differentiate her signature style. Blending her welcoming mannerisms and natural girl- next-door aura, it perfects intentional romanticism. It depicts her entire core perfectly: approachable, emotional, passionate. Our “gloomy graveyard girl” is only ever dressed in earthy tones, depicting her grounded nature and emotional depth. The it-girl vampire girlfriend effortlessly radiates a sense of enigma and allure, yet with one smile, you feel as though you’ve known her your entire life.
Filled with Hollister basics, rustic silver jewellery and leather jackets galore, her style has proven to never die after all these years. In a world full of Aria Montgomery – in all her weird girl grandeur – and Blair Waldorf – with her maximalist headbands and frilly button- ups – Elena’s style is effortlessly distinct with little intervention from eccentrics. With a perfectly basic Henley top and any old pair of jeans, straighten your hair and it’s the perfect look for those autumn evenings where everything seems the right amount of gloomy.
“We have history together.”
Elena Gilbert
Those who lived through the 2010s cling to Elena Gilbert for the same reasons a new generation does. Nostalgia for a sepia-toned world, low-rise True Religion jeans, V-necks with lace trims and pin-straight hair. Softness in a brutal world, swathed in sorrow, she symbolises the distinction between the fantasy of being chosen and the reality of choosing yourself. 16 years on, she isn’t just our vampire it-girl anymore. She’s a mirror, a moodboard– a reminder to be human in all its messiness and warmth.
To the gloomy graveyard girls, with their muddy converses and yearning bambi eyes, lend your ears for the ultimate Elena Gilbert experience: a day (or two) in Mystic Falls, 2009.
This essay was submitted to the White Lily Society for the limited time submission prompt “vampire girlfriend”
Isha Khan is an aspiring arts and culture journalist, with a certain fascination for all things strange and weird. Born and raised in West London, her inspirations are quite Americanised, growing up with a deep love for Pretty Little Liars, Gilmore Girls and The Vampire Diaries. With a deep love for women in (bubblegum) horror films and the early 2000s, she wants to make sure her writing evokes the same feeling a Yankee candle does – in all its comforting glory.
Instagram: @ ishaboxd / Instagram: @ weirdgirlsha / Or find her on Substack
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