“Like you I love love, life, the sweet smell of things, the sky-blue landscape of January days.”
by Roque Dalton, from a poem entitled “Like You” (translated from Spanish)
01/01/2025, London, UK
My dear,
Another year has come and gone. Blown through the wind, sifted through my hands like fine matter, poured into cups of deep red wine. It was a year of unfolding, to be followed up by a year of devotion. With many more letters to be written to you from across the dark of night. Truth be told, I’m not one to make resolutions beyond simple, abstract statements— so that course is one we’ll skip today. Either way, I would want to welcome in the year with sweetness, with gentleness, with softness. Reflection is always on the menu, my dear.
As usual, I tend to take things quite easy for the first letter of the year. No elaborate machinations or complex ruminations here. The holidays have stuffed my heart and head to the brim with all kinds of business that I still need to sort through, like a family photo album or a box of papers. Schrödinger’s memory file system: any piece could be junk or it could be treasure. One woman’s trash, and all that.
Regardless, don’t go thinking that this letter has no substance. The opposite goes, actually. You have been warned: this is a dense letter, packed to the brim with recommendations and taped-in musings— it required three stamps just to post! Forgive me if, at times, my handwriting is scribbled to the point of illegibility. If writing was a frictionless art form, nobody would write!
Every once in a while, a poem of mine magically blows over to Substack. Don’t ask me how or why. They seem to have a mind of their own sometimes in getting away from me. So imagine my surprise that early December morning when I find that another work of mine has taken flight and landed over here. Inspired by a feverish reading of “In Hospital” (1903) by William Ernest Henley, it’s a poem about sickness, about swallowing the moon, about self-doubt. Maybe give it a read if you feel properly intrigued.
And with nothing else to report, let’s go full steam ahead.
I. Archive Sources
“Ninety percent of what's wrong with you / could be cured with a hot bath, / says God through the manhole covers, / but we want magic, to win / the lottery we never bought a ticket for. / (Tenderly, the monks chant, / embrace the suffering.)”
by Mary Karr, “VI. Wisdom: the Voice of God” (collected in “Tropic of Squalor”, 2018)
Normally, the first section of my letters is always reserved for archive updates, a term I coined once I was still actively updating the archive every month… It’s been on my to-do list, I promise. I haven’t forgotten (How could I?). Either way, this section is usually reserved for academic sources, articles, and essays on the month’s topic at hand. But today, its interior is a bit different. Being a Substack native and all, today’s archive sources are dedicated to spreading the love. There’s so many great blogs and newsletters to peruse on this wonderful platform, so here’s a few of them I enjoyed reading lately. Sending them my sweet regards.
“Hopelessly Romantic Masochism & Finding Meaning in Pleasure” by Ball-Jointed Diary - link.
Much like this White Lily Society submission, this Substack essay is a philosophical look at attitudes towards love as they pertain to the depths of eroticism, and by extension, violence and sadomasochism. It’s a work about masochistic desire, devotion, hedonism, and hopeless romanticism, and the inherent contradiction in attitudes to- and the reality of sadomasochism. A lovely work, from a lovely Substack page that I always enjoy browsing and reading.
“What is more romantic than being able to express your most taboo desires as a form of romance? “Every taboo is sacred” I believe, in love, becomes true. We only truly seek love because we wish to be vulnerable without second thought, to be known completely.”
“Your phone is why you don't feel sexy” by Catherine Shannon - link.
As our ever-tech dependent age continues on, more and more voices have popped up to warn us of the downsides of our extreme exposure to screens and devices. From “brain rot” to increasing attention spans, and now the effect a deficit of mystery has on our romantic lives. It’s true, this essay argues, that having access to the world at our fingertips means the world increasingly loses its shine. The same goes for people. Not just celebrities, but everybody, is closer to us than ever before. Their thoughts are more and more easily accessible. And that can certainly be a bad thing.
“Today, everyone and everything is always available, and there’s nothing less sexy than that. There’s no chase. Our phones don’t allow us time to dwell, and they don’t allow us time to yearn.”
“the pain gap” by Rayne Fisher-Quann - link.
Every time Fisher-Quann writes a piece for her “internet princess” Substack, traces of it inevitably end up on every corner of the platform. Some are more topical, and some, like “the pain gap” deal with much larger diagnoses of our culture at large. Despite its starting base as an essay about age gap relationships, it ends up touching briefly on the idea of the “tortured woman” stereotype, and the ways in which this vision of ourselves as mythical martyrs can lead to unconsciously self-harming behaviour. Essential reading for most Substack enthusiasts.
“(there is a sickeningly pervasive idea in our culture, by the way, that a young woman can only become interesting and complex by experiencing untold quantities of pain — and so we seek this suffering in an attempt to become artistic, but only end up learning that we were operating from a flawed premise in the first place. pain is nothing but pain).”


II. Past Year Favourites
“The price of being oneself is so high and involves so much ruthlessness toward others (or what looks like ruthlessness in our duty- bound culture) that very few people can afford it. Most people swallow the unacceptable because it makes life so much easier. At what point does one feel that doing battle, however painful and rending, is necessary? This is the excruciating question.”
by May Sarton, from “the House by the Sea: a Journal” (1977)
Time for me to confess… I love lists. I love statistics. I love those cliché’d little yearly wrap-ups every platform seems to want to shove down our throats these days. The virgo sun in me is strong, alright. No start of a new year is complete without some time for some old-fashioned reflection, and one of my favourite kinds is always looking back at the media I perused in the past year. Three-hundred sixty-five days is a long time to find new gut-wrenchingly beautiful films, or that one song that seems to change everything, or a tv show you simply can’t turn off. Besides, it’s good to gather your thoughts every now and then, lest the unruly things scatter off on their own.
A slight warning: If you’ve been around for my past year of ramblings, both here and scattered over my socials, large parts of this list will NOT be a surprise to you. I am not a quiet lover of things, I must always scream it from the rooftops. Still, you might find yourself swayed to check out some hidden gems, something that will weave itself into your soul like it did mine. And isn’t that entirely worth it?
II.I Favourite Books
“Sharp Objects” by Gillian Flynn (2006)
Spoiler alert: “Sharp Objects” is one of those projects that really got under my skin this year, like most works included in this letter. I spent my June retreat in the Swiss Alps reading both the book and watching the show, and listening to the most ethereal, heartbreaking music to match. I thought about teeth, about mothers and daughters, about myths. The book has a lot to say: about generational abuse, about illness, about rejecting the assigned daintiness of girlhood. Flynn herself famously wrote that she “was not a nice little girl” growing up, and her interest in female violence in particular is the central theme of this book around which all the other parts revolve. But I’ll let Flynn herself sell it to you: “The point is, women have spent so many years girl-powering ourselves — to the point of almost parodic encouragement — we’ve left no room to acknowledge our dark side. Dark sides are important. They should be nurtured like nasty black orchids. So ‘Sharp Objects’ is my creepy little bouquet.” (from “I was not a nice little girl…” via Powell’s Books on Medium, 2015)
“Cassandra” by Christa Wolf (1983)
My relationship with Greek mythology has always been one of existing in parallel lines, rarely, if ever, converging. But there have always been symbols calling out to me, classical scenes of tragedy, characters mentioned in passing. After I had a particularly chilling set of dreams a year or two ago dealing with fate and seers, my friend gave me her copy of “Cassandra” to read, and I, embarrassingly, only got around to reading it last year. As a first foray into Greek myth, it was lyrical, introspective, and haunting, albeit slightly confusing at times. But Wolf’s deeply considerate adaptation of Cassandra’s story is one of a woman unfolding amidst tragedy, pointed and sharp like a dagger straight to the heart. And those are the kind of books I absolutely think we deserve to read— the ones that somehow magically manage to translate their printed words on paper into real feelings.

“Lolita” by Vladimir Nabokov (1955)
Two seemingly contradicting things can be true at once, and Nabokov’ beyond-controversial novel is still perfect proof of this notion today. “Lolita” is the written equivalent of a conman swinging a gilded watch in your face so his accomplice can pick your pockets. The book is beautiful, yes, but particularly in the way of a poisonous flower, using the seductive lures of language and carefully constructed images to entrap not only Dolores and her mother within the story, but the reader as well. It’s melodious and lyrical, enrapturing, but it is absolutely meant to have that disgusting after-effect, to have its magnificent glitter wear off as a rather slimy haze. Beyond all the baroque word-paint there is a truly perverted, disgusting story meant to give you pause once you notice its designs working on you. If you’re disturbed, it’s because you should be.
“Belladonna” by Adalyn Grace (2022)
From time to time, I too like to indulge in a little bit of a pulpy YA read. Between all the dense academic texts and “serious” classic literature, it can be a palate cleanser of sorts. And sometimes, those delightful little refreshments will go on to enter my metaphorical hall of fame, with “Belladonna” being the latest to enjoy such a privilege. Me and my “Death and the Maiden” obsession were immediately intrigued by this story of a girl who can’t die falling in love with Death himself. It’s a Victorian murder mystery, romance novel, with Gothic tendencies that ticks all the corresponding genre boxes. Simply put, it’s not the newest, freshest thing around, but it is simply done extraordinarily well. All the details are considered. And yes, I did end up reading the entire trilogy in a week.
“Averno” by Louise Glück (2006)
Louise Glück’s work is yet another one of those parallel lines to mine: I constantly see the most intriguing snippets of her work, but I had never actually picked up one of them to read until this year. I read both “the Seven Ages” (2001), and “Averno” in record tempo this year, of which the latter was most definitely my favourite. Worth it alone for containing one of my now-all time favourite poems “Persephone the Wanderer”, “Averno” is a collection of deeply poignant, personal poetry loosely connected through themes concerning the classic myth of Persephone. The significance of Glück’s work is just brimming with nuance, and her meditations on life, girlhood, and death are rarely lacking subtlety. It’s a beautiful read, and one that is perfect for these last lingering colder months.
“Things We Say in the Dark” by Kirsty Logan (2019)
A woman carves space within herself for her lover to call home. Cuddling up to horror has chilling consequences. The form of stories themselves become a tool for fear to manifest. This is a juicy collection of Gothic-tinted short stories dealing with an array of fears about being othered, about desire and violence, about what it means to exist as a woman. The strange and surreal elements as it be bend to form the mouthpiece for the frights that usually exist exclusively on the tips of our tongues. Each and every story takes on a dreadful form, perfectly manicured to nest itself inside of your stomach. I simply couldn’t put it down.
II.II Favourite Shows
“Sharp Objects” (2018)
I have no interest in rehashing my earlier words, so let me be brief now. Adapting written work onto the screen is more often than not a tricky and facetious undertaking, and therefore it is all the more special that the beautifully layered nuance of “Sharp Objects” is done perfect justice in the matching HBO miniseries. It’s a faithful adaptation through and through, keeping the book’s delicate sharpness, its occasional glacial, introspective pacing, and most importantly, its delightfully creepy atmosphere. Both the show and the book have a way of sneaking up on you, of committing to their dance of shadows. You’ll be in great hands no matter which one you pick up.
“House of the Dragon” S02 (2024)
As someone also deeply traumatised by that final season of “Game of Thrones” (2011-2019), I must admit I had my doubts about giving my heart (again) to more of HBO’s ambitious projects within George R.R. Martin’s universe. But HotD managed to tick a lot of boxes for me: there’s fantasy elements, there’s political intrigue and scheming, and, best of all, nobody is a good person! (ie. my formula for my perfect show) No matter which side you’re on, things will get messy, and while I have my concerns about cuts to the source material going forward, there is an unparalleled masochistic joy in dealing with a show that expects you to remember centuries worth of prior politics. Whatever happens, I’m team Helaena Targaryen until the bitter end, my dear.
“Hannibal” (2013-2015)
Not for those with weak stomachs, “Hannibal” is a show carefully cooked up with extreme attention to details, subtle storytelling, and artfully gory depictions of the most disturbed violent crimes imaginable. As short as it is, “Hannibal” doesn’t overstay or under-stay its welcome, instead presenting a haunting narrative with just the right amount of open endings to nest itself deep in your delicious brain. Whether it’s a romance depends entirely on your reading of its subtle writing, in which blink-or-you-miss-it moments can make a momentous difference in your understanding of the characters. Ultimately, it makes for a tasty, succulent, well done show, but viewer discretion is very much advised.
“Interview with the Vampire” (2022-)
Alright, alright. After a year or two of denying the call you can now all stop yelling at me, for I finally sat down to watch AMC’s adaptation of Anne Rice’s Vampire Chronicles, and, to nobody’s surprise, devoured the first two seasons in a week or two. As a fan of the 1992 film adaptation, the greater space the tv show has to explore the nuances of adapting its plot were very highly welcomed. Both seasons greatly play around with perception, and with the idea of memory as a fallible currency. As main character Louis recaps his story to the journalist Daniel Molloy, his monologues tend to stitch and back-stitch, weaving the tale of his life together only to inevitably have it unravel again. There’s a certain comfort I find, particularly in the first season’s 1930s-40s episodes, filled with the lull of gramophone music, and the darkness of night in a parlour, and costumes with high-quality fabrics that can practically be felt through the screen. Though my comfort watch is most definitely S01E04: I’m particularly fond of Bailey Bass’ Claudia’s theatrical Southern accent and heart-warming childish whimsy.


5. “Scandal” - Rewatch (2012-2018)
While “Scandal” may not be a supernatural show, it has cleverly weaselled its way into my all-time favourites through a combination of nostalgia and sheer absurdist melodrama. Shonda Rhimes has a way of writing reality with the most surreal angle, elevating every normal plot line into something extraordinary but keeping its context mundane. This is a show in which a President goes to war for his mistress, in which elections are rigged, in which characters go into lengthy monologues about Power(tm) in every other scene. It’s delicious, and needlessly dramatic, and Thomas Fitzgerald Grant III is my President, alright! I absolutely cannot go more than two years without craving a rewatch. Come for the illicit affairs, be enamoured by Olivia Pope’s immaculately tailored coats, stay for the politics and the spy drama.
“the Originals” - Rewatch, especially S01 (2013-2018)
Sorry to shoe-horn a long time favourite in, but Season 1 of this “the Vampire Diaries” (2009-2017) spin-off is essentially my perfect show, and therefore it will never ever leave the favourites list. Recently, I had the pleasure of forcing my friend rewatching with my friend, and I was pleasantly horrified that I could ad-lib entire scenes by heart. Seeing Joseph Morgan playing Klaus Mikaelson on “the Vampire Diaries” as it aired when I was maybe twelve years old was a formative experience... I rest my case.
II.III Favourite Movies
“Panna a Netvor” (1979)
A beautiful adaptation of the “Beauty and the Beast” fairytale, this Czechoslovakian film has a peculiar focus on touch; from the feathered beast’s grasp on Julie’s neck to her gentle caresses of the statues in his dilapidated castle. Remarkably, it’s also not afraid to make its beast blood-thirsty, almost vampiric. It’s a film I can only describe in mood statements, bringing to mind warm and dulled afternoons, or the shimmer of a lake in the sun, or the folds of a mind blissfully teetering on the brink of sleep. Sharpness and softness considered, this is a film that fully honours its fairytale roots.
“Secretary” (2002)
For a film about a young woman finding a job as a sectary and getting involved in a dominant/submissive BDSM relationship with her boss, this is a story filled with a surprising earnest tenderness, and a delicate care rarely afforded to “erotic” movies. It’s hard to make films about crooked power relations and have them be genuine, it’s a narrow tightrope to walk between exploitative and indulgent— perhaps the film’s odd mixture of genres, being an erotic comedy-drama, contributes to its success in striking such a perfect balance. Underneath all the layers of [after]care, this is ultimately a story of two freaks finding each other (for lack of a better descriptive), and it’s one that manages to be genuinely funny, beautiful, and sexy all in one.
“Ginger Snaps” (2001)
Far-removed from your average werewolf story, “Ginger Snaps” is a film that takes its story of beasthood and turns it into a story of girlhood, or rather: the body horror of femininity, and particularly puberty. It makes sense: werewolves are intrinsically linked to cycles of the moon, just like a woman’s cycle is. Pair those (unsubtle) themes with some deliciously campy, Halloween-y, early 2000s visuals, and some campy frights, and you have a film that is both uniquely entertaining and has some substance to it.
“How to Marry a Millionaire” (1953)
Having been on a veritable Marilyn Monroe kick on the tail-end of this year, I can safely say that “How to Marry a Millionaire” is my favourite out of all the Monroe projects I’ve inspected so far. What’s not to love? The comedic plot involves three glamorous women setting out to marry wealthy men, and with screen sirens Marilyn Monroe, Lauren Bacall and Betty Grable in the starring roles, no less! There is a rapturous air of elegance to movies from this time period that simply doesn’t exist in projects nowadays, and this one in particular is just spectacularly brimming with it.
“Lolita” (1997)
For those inclined to seek out more of this saccharine-sweet nightmare, there is a perhaps overwhelming array of film adaptations to choose from, some done more… tastefully than others. But I can only advise you on the 1997 version. Like the book, this film translates into an aesthetic delight, perfectly capturing the slow haze of summer. The story, of course, keeps its horrors intact, and Jeremy Irons’ performance as Humbert Humbert adds to it a pathetic character that makes the sympathy you may have been swayed to in the book even farther removed from him now. It’s a double-sided blade of a story, just like the book.
“Nosferatu” (2024)
Do I even need to explain why this film went straight to my Letterboxd top four? It’s (1) a psychosexual vampire film, that (2) heavily draws on themes of Death and the Maiden, and (3) about twenty minutes into my first viewing the scenery and colour-grading heavily reminded me of my favourite video game, “Bloodborne” (2015). From the very second this film was announced I was already fully on board, and what a joy it is to have such a highly-anticipated film not only match, but succeed your expectations. Safe to say I am booking my second viewing in IMAX soon, and I will be lining up for the DVD release in a month or two. You can count on it, my dear.


Now, for some orphaned favourites without their own categories to be nested in, there’s the aforementioned “Bloodborne” (2015) taking the win for my favourite video game of the year. My sincere apologies for being unable to shut up about this brutally punishing masterpiece of Gothic and Lovecraftian horror. I’m very picky with my games, but I don’t see myself parting from this one for a very long time yet.
Around the same time as I first booted up “Bloodborne”, I also went to see my favourite exhibition of the year for the first time: “Portraits to Dream In: Francesca Woodman and Julia Margaret Cameron” at the National Portrait Gallery. Combining Cameron’s work from the 1860s with Woodman’s from the 1970s, this exhibition was like a sweetener for the soul. In all these beautifully composited, dream-like images sorted into categories based on their use of angels, of mythology, of biblical story, I had significant trouble picking just a handful of favourites— I went to see it twice more, and have revisited the lovely exhibition book plenty.


Sonically, my favourite new artist of the year was “Sunday (1994)”, a band whose sound I can only describe as cinematic, white-prairie-dress, guitar dreams. Not to mention that I had the greatest pleasure being front-row at their first London gig last September. The favourite album title has to go to Halsey’s fifth full-length body of work, “the Great Impersonator”, released at the end of October but already my second most-streamed album of all time (!). Not for the faint of heart, this record is intensely melancholic and heavy for the vast majority of its hour-long runtime, dealing with Halsey’s discussions with her own mortality in the face of a cancer diagnosis and her long-time chronic health conditions. It’s punctuated by some seriously groovy, poppier, and even pop-rock sounding tracks, but you have been warned regardless. Favourite tracks include “Arsonist”, “Life of the Spider (Draft)”, and “Lonely is the Muse”.
“Alchemy's not love, it's playing God And there's a penance paid for entering the temple like a fraud in your charade You leave me sleeping in the dark so you can hide away your blade And lock the door and trap me right here in the blaze"
from “Arsonist” by Halsey, off of “the Great Impersonator” (2024)
Finally, some selected listening from the past year, including some of my top songs, some of my personal favourites, and a few just to get the vibe across:
Carolina - Taylor Swift || 2. Monolith - Twin Tribes || 3. Mentally Not Here - Elita || 4. Burn Alive - the Last Dinner Party || 5. Persephone - Cocteau Twins || 6. Arsonist - Halsey || 7. Famous Last Words (an Ode to Eaters) - 1017 ALYX SM, Ethel Cain || 8. Sailor Song - Gigi Perez || 9. Our Troubles - Sunday (1994) || 10. Angel - Massive Attack, Horace Andy || 11. hostage - Maggie Lindemann || 12. Pain - Boy Harsher || 13. Angel - NewDad
III. Ins and Outs
“INTERVIEWER: There's a certain esthetic to the way you live. You once talked about using good silver every day.
DIDION: Well, every day is all there is.”
by Sarah Davidson, from “A Visit With Joan Didion”, the New Yorker (April 1977)
Now, without resolutions to form, what else is left? You could work with alter ego and moodboards and glamour magick like me (more on that perhaps in a future letter), or you could write thirteen wishes like my friend, or you could join me and the internet at large in making a yearly “in/out” list. So, without further ado, here’s what is “in” and “out” in my opinion for the upcoming year…
[IN] The arduous journey through the self || Devotionals || Touching with oft-neglected fingers (see: middle finger, ring finger) || Reading languorously, sprawling || 1930s and 40s gramophone music || Diaries à la Anaïs Nin || Seeking the sweet, sensual, and gentle || Living with intentional difficulty and care || Being a haunted house || Death and the Maiden || Physical media collections || Befriending the mice in your home || Intersection of Love and Violence (will never be out!)
[OUT] Infallibility || Demonising sugar || Unnecessarily trading pain for perfection || “Toning it down” (gauche) || Being unable to cook || Realism in any art || Films and tv shows lit like commercials || Self-censoring your thoughts before they even leave your mouth || Solipsistic whataboutism || Having a high screen time (…guilty as charged) || Toxic productivity culture || Spelling errors!!! || Silly arguments about “high” and “low” art
✧・゚: *✧・゚:* On the List *:・゚✧*:・゚
Behold! A new mini segment to my letters! Essentially, I have come to realise that my writing tends to look back a lot: my letters often contain reviews of past exhibitions, recent releases, and until not too long ago they always concerned the month prior, not the month ahead (which changed from letter 16 onwards). Of course, all my visitings are updated regularly on socials, but that would mean potentially excluding you, my dear! Something most dreadful. Thus, in this segment at the end of the letters I plan to briefly mention some things coming up, from events to releases, so that you can match your calendar accordingly if you so desire.
Exhibitions, events, and talks. First of all, I’ve been meaning to check out two exhibitions in the coming month: “Medieval Women” at the British Library (open until March 2nd), and “the World of Tim Burton” at the Design Museum (open until April 21st). At the Freud museum, there is a most intriguing free online talk on January 23rd: “The Princess of Pleasure: Marie Bonaparte & The Politics of Sex”.
Closer to home, Femme Social Press together with our “sister collective” Ethereal Maison are celebrating the release of “Luck is in the Leftovers” by Clara Ada Mantegazza with poetry, performance, and music on January 18th. Be there or be square! Additionally, Femme Social Press is also celebrating the launch of Ester Freider’s (who you might know from sister collective “everyone is a girl'“) book “i’m like a pdf but a girl”, which promises to be a thoughtful rumination on Tumblr girlblogging and personal research in the digital era, as well as the cyberfeminist potency these practices carry— the launch is on January 21st.
Music. Happy “perverts” month! Ethel Cain’s new album is set to be brimming with ambient, dark and droning tracks, out now. Also on music front, Sunday (1994)’s self-titled EP is set to be released on vinyl at the HMV on January 31st, which I certainly do plan on snatching up now that I’ve got myself a snazzy record player with almost nothing to play on it.
Film and TV. It goes without saying, but go see “Nosferatu” in cinema if you haven’t yet! It’s a masterpiece of Gothic atmosphere that you don’t want to miss, trust me. If you’re feeling extra indulgent, maybe check it out in IMAX to give this masterpiece the scope it deserves. I also plan on seeing “babygirl” ASAP while it’s still on. Additionally, BFI Southbank is dedicated to an entire host of Vampires and Other Uninvited Guests complete with screenings of 1979’s “Nosferatu the Vampyre” (January 19th), my personal favourite 1992’s “Bram Stoker’s Dracula” (January 23rd), and more continuing in February and March.
Obsessive Tendencies: What I’ve Loved Lately.
Killstar, Imperia long velvet dress, [The perfect velvet baby-doll dress à la “the Love Witch”, 2016] on sale for £39
Fortnum & Mason, rose pouchong tea bags, [A beautifully delicate flavour that reminds me of a dear friend and our road trip around Lake Geneva to see the Vila Diodati], £10.95
Aspinal of London, A5 refillable journal in “deep shine black croc”, [More than worthy of all my poems and scribbles], £85
Olaplex, no. 3 hair perfector, [Quite literally saving my dye-damaged hair], £28
Office, marvellous triple strap Mary-Jane block heels in “red patent”, [Perfect for dull parties: just click your heels together three times and you’re back home!], on sale for £25
Ecosusi, Jane messenger bag in “black”, [A lovely vintage-looking everyday bag that can hold both a decent-sized book and a notebook with ease], on sale for £51
“Lots of people go mad in January. Not as many as in May, of course. Nor June. But January is your third most common month for madness.”
by Karen Joy Fowler, from “Sarah Canary” (1991)


Resolution is a palm-sized gemstone I keep in my pockets to turn over when darkness looms. Yes, the fresh new year threatens to free me from my most delicious agony. There is nothing that can be done about it. Last month I completed my first ever chainmail glove after I spent six hours just methodically opening and closing metal rings, one pair of pliers in each hand like extended fingers, like the shadow hand of Nosferatu gliding over a haunted town. It’s funny, though, after I’ve worn it for a while and I take it off again, I can feel the phantom cold of the metal weighing on my hands long after— poetic soul and all, I am inclined to believe that means something.
At night, the floorboards of my house creak and sigh, and I try not to listen to the whispered language it echoes because it turns out proper sleep really is as important as they said. Who could’ve known? Somnambulism is an unfavourable pastime. We generally know what illnesses are out there, lurking, but mine is certainly unique to me. With this year of devotion, I intend to inhale the thinning veil so that slowly but surely, every cell within me sweetens to cure. Riddled with madness, I took my grandfather’s antique clock with me on the train back home, sagely stuffed the mechanism with socks and underwear, and now the delicious tick of it is like a rhythmic heartbeat of the house to match the nighttime screams. In that case, the clock a heart, the wind a voice, I am the soul within the windows, sat in the space between slices of glass. Fragile, sure, but infinitely promising. Writing for you now, my dear, my best crystallising words to take with tea. Soothing like an anti-curse. Chainmail chained to you, indefinitely.
Until my next letter,
With love (and violence),
x Sabrina Angelina, the White Lily Society
Currently reading: “Men Have Called Her Crazy” by Anna Marie Tendler // Most recent read: “Romance and the Erotics of Property: Mass-Market Fiction for Women” by Jan Cohn
White Lily Society links // Sabrina Angelina links
New Year, new you— and that new you is most certainly a White Lily Society member. Just imagine what a monthly injection of the Intersection of Love and Violence will do to you. Come on, don’t be afraid. That little red button won’t bite. Join us, become a martyr of deliciousness.