05. Candlelight, evermore
a Byronic guide to the winter season, and life in general.
“Also, as I was finding, this dimming season sharpens one. The trees are bare. Spirits stir in the stripped branches. November supposedly renders thin the veil.”
From “the Sentence” by Louise Erdich (2021)
01/12/2023, London, UK
My dear,
Winter is finally fully here! And with it, one of the warmest months of the year, if you ask me. Maybe not meteorologically, but spiritually. Something about the cold, the layers, the frost, brings out the tinder in people. One strike, and you have a crackling fire to curl up by. This delightful season, it makes you feel so small, but so safe. Fragile, but tucked away neatly in some giant’s warm woollen coat pocket, far away from where the cold could reach you.
This month, the format of the newsletter will differ ever so slightly. November has been the busiest month: I’ve been occupied building a companion monster out of various body parts that I scavenged from the local graveyard, so you can imagine my exhaustion. Therefore, instead of our usual approach, consider this newsletter a bit of a loose cannon. We will be talking about philosophy, but it will be more personal essay than dense research-based writeup. I promise we will go back to your regularly scheduled kinda-niche esoteric love-and-violence programming soon. Digital pinkie promise.
For now, there’s plenty of other things to turn your attention to, (you little knowledge glutton), once you’re finished with this newsletter, of course. There’s two artist write-ups: one about Guillermo Lorca’s surrealist oil paintings, and one about fellow UAL grad Millie Hardingham’s wonderfully feminine photographs. And more curiously, a poem of mine has mysteriously made its way over to the Substack (huh, how’d that happen?). It’s about loneliness, and self-destructive tendencies: the endless cycle of rebirth, the ouroboros. Do give it a read if you’re feeling nosey.
But for now, form an orderly queue and follow me. Let’s talk about some archive updates, and some philosophy for the mad.
I. Archive updates
“I postpone death by living, by suffering, by error, by risking, by giving, by losing.”
by Anaïs Nin, from “The Diary of Anaïs Nin: Vol. 1” (1931-1934)
As with every other month, there’s a fresh selection of splendid sources added to the White Lily Society archive for your reading pleasure. I’ve dug around the web with my bare hands, gone on an epic quest of sorts (imagine the hero’s journey), and slain dragons to get them to you. But for those of you who wish for their eyes to glance only at the best of the best, I have of course compiled some literature to inspire you about Byronism, Oscar Wilde, and decadence. Truly, I have never struggled as much to find good, high quality, relevant articles on the topic at hand. And yes, I am convinced it is because nobody gets Lord Byron like I do (they simply don’t!).
1. “The Moral Implications of Oscar Wilde’s Aestheticism” - link
Summarising this paper is quite a hard ask. At its core it’s about art, morality, decadence, aestheticism, and Oscar Wilde. This article also touches on ideas about literature anticipating life, and art being amoral. About art doing good because it makes people sentient, and critical, because it instructs them to feel and think. And all of this gets tied in with Oscar Wilde’s writing, and his values, to be neatly presented in a sixteen page gift with bow on top.
“[…] but by virtue of the lasting effect art has upon a culture, a race, a nation. That effect can only be to the good, not because art instructs people to be good or because art illuminates the rarely seen connection between man, but because art makes of people sentient, emotional, sympathetic beings whose consciousness of beauty diminishes their capacity for meanness.”
“Ethics and Aesthetics in The Picture of Dorian Gray” - link
A very short paper, in which every sentence, every word, counts. Looking at the intersection of ethics and aesthetics, of art and morality, in Oscar Wilde’s classic novel, this paper truly packs a punch in only nine pages. It manages to realistically boil down the essence of the Faustian conflicts in Dorian Gray, and in a way that is both linguistically beautiful, and a pleasure to read.
“Lord Henry's ideal of self-development, of a harmony between soul and body, leads ironically to a fragmentation of the self. Dorian's predicament can perhaps best be described as that of Jung's modern man in search of a soul. What drives him to war with himself is the intuition or knowledge that he consists of two persons in opposition to one another: "The conflict may be between the sensual and spiritual man or between the ego and the shadow.”
“Lord Byron and Oscar Wilde in Perspective: Aesthetic Dissonance, Political Resonance” - link
This final paper offers an in-depth look at similarities and parallels between Lord Byron and Oscar Wilde, with a fair few mentions of Keats and Shelley thrown in for good measure. Looking at everything from religion, to their political views, and their views on their contemporaries, this piece of writing draws some lovely parallels between two writers who have been (and are) very influential to the White Lily Society.
“The concept of the fallen angel, the flawed personality as a consequence of a flawed body damned from birth was, Grosskurth argues, an essential part of Byron's psyche. While Wilde did not share a physical deformity with Byron, he did evince a fear of losing his soul, as the above sonnet indicates, because of his investigation of life's pleasures.”
II. Byronic hedonism
“The only way to atone for being occasionally a little over-dressed is by being always absolutely over-educated” & “I think a man should invent his own myth”
by Oscar Wilde
Personal philosophy is a tough beast to tussle with, because, if you ask me, nothing so malleable as the human spirit could ever be pinned down and defined for long enough. Like so many others, I agree with Walt Whitman when he wrote; “Do I contradict myself? Very well then I contradict myself, (I am large, I contain multitudes.)”. So be warned, there will be contradictions galore.
Personally, I’ve spent the past year(s) refining and re-defining my own philosophy, my own quirks of living, an aesthetic lifestyle, if you will. I’ve dubbed this loose philosophy of mine “Byronic hedonism”, but you might as well call it warm-blooded Romanticism, or Gothicism with fallacies. “A rose by any other name…” and all that. Naming something is a hard thing, after all. To define is to limit, and this philosophy is distinctly anti-limiting. It is contradictory, yes. It can expand to fit whatever you might want to add. From the moment you read about it, it becomes not only mine, but yours as well. And I’m absolutely sure you’ll make the loveliest of co-parents.
So what does this “Byronic hedonism” entail? Well, it’s made up of two parts: the “Byronic”, or the Romantic, the Gothic, the dramatic. The intersection of love and violence, yes (of course). It’s that particular brand of doom and gloom, but also theatrics. Salacious, scandalous, sensational conduct. Dedication to the bit. And “hedonism”, well you’re likely already familiar with that term. Hedonism is the pursuit of pleasure. Because of this goal, it is typically thought of as a selfish pursuit, but here, in the context of my own personal philosophy, I like to maintain a more “ethical” variation of the philosophy; seek pleasure, at harm to none.
Winter to me always strikes me as the best time to refine one’s life. It’s right before the New Year, right before the world insists on a reset. Plenty of time to muse on what your life should look like, what you want it to be. Which is why I’d like to take this opportunity to muse a bit about “Byronic hedonism”, and all the little facets involved in such a philosophy, with a bit of extra focus on the winter season in particular.
For some semblance of structure this section will be divided following Mark Rothko’s "recipe of a work of art" from a lecture at the Pratt Institute, (1958). And coincidentally, these seven principles near-perfectly describe the general guidelines of the philosophy at hand, making it perfect to guide-post our discussion today. It’s purely instinctual to use Rothko’s recipe for art as an instrument for philosophy, but it makes sense, because our life is, after all, our greatest work of art. So, having said that, shall we get on with it?
“1. There must be a clear preoccupation with death—intimations of mortality... Tragic art, romantic art, etc. deals with the knowledge of death.”
When the cold comes creeping in and the veil is thin, and even in the warmer months, it is crucial to experience yourself, as Camus wrote. “Get scared. It will do you good. […] Get scared some more. Allow your little mind to do nothing but function. Stay inside, go out - I don’t care what you’ll do; but stay scared as hell. You will never be able to experience everything. So, please, do poetical justice to your soul and simply experience yourself.”
To experience oneself is to allow for introspection, and that includes melancholy as much as it does a feeling of enlightenment. Read the great Romantic works, the ones that foster a sense of yearning, of longing, of pining, of angst- Keats, Byron, Shelley, Coleridge, Wordsworth. Go for a walk through the frost-covered cemeteries, reflect on your own dead, those who we still carry with us. Fashion yourself a tragic poet, a writer, an artist, a lover, a dandy; read obsessively by the fireplace, go on feverish quests for knowledge, attempt to quench an insatiable curiosity. Love with your primary object being to give love, not just to receive it.
“2. Sensuality. Our basis of being concrete about the world. It is a lustful relationship to things that exist.”
“3. Tension. Either conflict or curbed desire.’
Dita von Teese wrote that “beauty is living the ritual”. Oscar Wilde, who functions as our charming and witty patron saint today, wrote that “All charming people, I fancy, are spoiled. It is the secret of their attraction”. So be a bit spoiled! “I have the simplest tastes: I am always satisfied with the best” (Wilde, again).
Especially during the colder months, there is nothing better than pleasure to be gotten from indulgence. A nice steaming cup of mulled wine, exquisite warm apples with cinnamon, a good cut of meat with potatoes on the side. Winter is prime season for a little treat. But indulgence is not just edible, of course. It can also mean… an evening spent with the sole goal of luxuriating, a long warm bath with all the bells and whistles, wearing the softest fabrics you own with the nicest jewellery. Embrace a love of fine things to feel fine yourself. Take care of your desires, nurture them and nourish them. And above all, be theatrical if you wish to be so! “Only mediocrity is safe from ridicule.” (Dita von Teese, again).
Tension is inherent to anything Romantic- and by extension, Byronic: it’s the intersection of love and violence, of passion and suffering, of pleasure and melancholy. Just as you choose to indulge, choose to strategically deprive. Build up friction by delaying things from time to time, just to make the payoff all the better. If you think of that as contradictory, love, that is entirely the point.
“4. Irony. This is a modern ingredient—the self effacement and examination by which a man for an instant can go on to something else.”
“5. Wit and Play…for the human element.”
Personally, I adore the drama that comes along with colder weather. Oh, leather gloves, knitted mittens, scarves, fur coats, candlelight. How scandalous! This is that playfulness, that sense of drama that says you never take things too seriously. Have a laugh at yourself (and the world) just as much as you take yourself seriously. Dita von Teese says it too; have a sense of adventure!
Go after artifice in life, but never artificial light. Seek out dimly-lit bars and fanciful drinks. Try to avoid harsh lights after the sun sets: instead of fighting the day, give into it. Do the evening dishes in candlelight, softly singing along to the most melancholy and haunting of songs. Slow down and speed up. This too, contains irony, contradiction; the season of slowing down, winter, inevitably speeds up with gatherings for the holidays. Embody that duality. Go dancing if you wish to do so, and spend other nights watching films in the cold comfort of your home. Grow a fondness for old, whimsical films in which the actors still speak with perfectly pruned transatlantic accents, and the backdrops are made of painted cloth.
And play, devour art, go ice skating, go for walks- feel joy like it is the only thing able to warm your bones, all the way down to the marrow. Seek out warmth. Get a coffee and go for a stroll, all bundled and layered up. Get cozy with hot water bottles and blankets. Take a deep breath, watch the warm fog clouds escape your mouth. Imagine yourself to be a snow-globe filled with nothing but joy and the theatrics of true character.
Find the most archaic of technologies and put them to use again. Convenient or comfortable doesn’t always mean better, it’s all about the charm. Dig up old mp3 players, cd’s, analog cameras, and digital ones that can store no more than sixteen well-intentioned images. Play chess. Write letters. Go through old photo-albums. If you are going back to a house with memories for the holidays, be unbridledly nostalgic. Find the borders between who you are now, and who you used to be, and tug on them a bit. Fray the edges. Let them bleed into each other. “The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” (D.B. Yeats). Chase that sense of whimsy, and play, and magic, because it is what keeps life worth living.
“6. The ephemeral and chance...for the human element.”
“7. Hope. 10% to make the tragic concept more endurable.”
Rainer Maria Rilke wrote that you should “let everything happen to you: Beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final.” and that is exactly the point. Knowing that winter is a tough, dark time for a lot of people out there, relish in the ephemerality of the seasons. This too, shall pass. Not only surviving, but thriving during the holiday season to me is about an unflinching willingness, a desire to maintain your identity, to not dull down with the grayer days. Take pleasure in being an absolute character, compress hope out of beauty, out of glamour, out of ritual.
Of course, all of this goes for every time of the year, but I always feel the pull of it strongest during the ending of the year. After all, why set the tone for the New year as anything not completely, fully, unadulteratedly you? If you have the opportunity, and it’s safe for you to completely inhabit your identity then do so. Every year we inch closer to ourselves, but the big leaps, the experiments, are always the most fun. Or at least the most illuminating.
III. Ten Commandments, further reading
Now, I can write on and on about my philosophies until my fingers are bruised and blue, but instead, I have compiled a handy list of Ten Commandments for you to act as a summary of sorts. Feel free to adapt and adopt whichever you like.
“How you spend your days is how you live your life” (adapted quote from Annie Dillard)
Beauty is the purpose; find it everywhere
Knowledge is both power and control, not just over others, but over (and for) yourself
Move with grace and live with dignity
The stranger they think you, the truer you are
There is rarely a valid excuse to pass up a small joy
Don’t be afraid to feel: most things that seem big to you now are only as big as you let them be
Sometimes you have to say “yes” for the story
Give people things to connect to. Connection is life
Be obsessive, be playful, be curious, be dramatic- be a martyr of deliciousness
Now, a small list of further recommended reading (in order of thematic importance). These are some of the books that inspired or informed this philosophy: “the Art of Seduction” by Robert Greene, “de Profundis” or the quotes of Oscar Wilde, “the Picture of Dorian Gray”, “Your Beauty Mark” by Dita von Teese, “Glamour Magic” by Deborah Castellano, any of Lord Byron’s letters, quotes, or writings about his life, “Byron in Love” by Edna O’Brien, “Slow Days, Fast Company” by Eve Babitz, and fundamentally, “Eroticism” by Georges Bataille.
I also would recommend “the Little Book of Hygge” by Meik Wiking (specifically for the winter season, not necessarily my philosophy at large) though it preaches more so a sense of cozy simplicity (and focused indulgence) rather than all-out opulence. Still, it offers a clear-cut strategy for winter survival that definitely got assimilated into my own “Byronic hedonism”.
My dear, as much as I am enjoying our little chats, I have to run. I do not wish to overstay my welcome, and at midnight I fear I might turn back into a pumpkin, if I don’t run fast enough. As always, I wish you good fortune for the cold month ahead, and I hope the warmth of the holidays will more than sufficiently sustain you. This will be my last newsletter of the year already, oh how time flies, but you will of course find me again, as you always do. I will be waiting right in your inbox, on the brink of the New Year, hand reaching out.
Until my next letter,
x Sabrina Angelina, the White Lily Society
Currently reading: “Rouge” by Mona Awad // Most recent read: “Unicorn: the poetry of Angela Carter”, foreword by Rosemary Hill
White Lily Society links // Sabrina Angelina links
If you adore the philosophy, lifestyle, and/or aesthetics discussed today, you’ll definitely enjoy seeing more of the White Lily Society. So, subscribe for free today! Or follow us on our other socials. Come, become a martyr of deliciousness. Join us. We’re definitely not a cult